Want to live like the Grinch? You'll need £125,000 and a new roof

It is once again Christmas, which means we must once again think about things such as ‘presents’ and ‘how much alcohol is it acceptable to drink on a Monday’ and ‘films I’m going to watch’. All very important issues, I’m sure you’ll agree.

I have opined already, because it is my want, on the films I like watching over the Christmas period. Naturally, this includes films such as The Holiday and Die Hard and so on. There are other films, such as The Grinch and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and Love Actually. Do you like those films? Do you like them so much you want to live in them? Well we can help with that. We can’t send you Keira Knightley (we asked, she’s busy), but we can serve you up a charming mews house like the one she’s in when that awful man pesters her with some signs.

Yes, once again our kind friends at Knight Frank have done the hard yards. They have watched some Christmas films, they have scoured their enormous database of property, and have given me the results so that I can share them with you. Teamwork makes the dream work.

Love Actually, £2.3 million

Start as you mean to go on. Here we have a three-bedroom home in St Lukes Mews, W11, which is actually the very same mews where the awful man with the signs (Andrew Lincoln) does all the pestering.

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We’ve been promised he’s not there all the time.

This one comes with Miele integrated appliances, a Juliette balcony, four floors and lots of light and space. Everyone loves a mews, which is actually why they are so expensive. 

The Grinch, offers in excess of £125,000

Now you might think, ‘hang on a minute, why do I want to live like the Grinch? He lives on top of a weird hill, famously hates Christmas and his house looks weird’.

Well, given the current state of the housing market, I can tell you that most millennials I know would bite your hand off for a house — any house, even a weird one on top of a hill, if they could afford to buy it. And in this case, they probably could.

That's not to say there aren't a few downsides about this bit of land in Helmsdale. The 'house' bit is actually a terrifying derelict shepherd’s cottage set in 1.15 acres (very Grinchy). Very few neighbours. Middle of nowhere. And so on. You’d have to do a bit of work on it, but you could turn it into a very lovely house that’s only minutes away from The Garvault Lodge, which is described as the UK’s most remote pub. Also comes with water that has gold in it? Could be fun.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, $9.9907 million

When I was a young boy, living (but not lost in) New York, The Plaza hotel was the very definition of luxury. My mother took me to lunch there once, which was extremely nice. I was very sad to hear that it closed down and got turned into apartments, but that is the way the cookie crumbles these days.

You too could get lost in this three-bedroom apartment and the best news is that Donald Trump will be too busy golfing/being the President of the USA to be loitering in the lobby. This one is a joint listing with Knight Frank and Douglas Elliman.

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The Holiday, £2.3 million

Was always going to feature on this list somewhere. You cannot run from The Holiday. You cannot hide from The Holiday. Wherever you are, whatever you do, The Holiday will find you. So you may as well embrace The Holiday. When Jude Law admitted that the cottage from the film wasn’t actually real, that made a lot of people very sad. The good news is that this whole island is covered in cottages that look just like the cottage from the film, and are very much real. Like this one, in Shipston-on-Stour. Bedrooms range from 4-6, and it comes with 10 acres of land. 

Credit: Savills

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