Spike Milligan's old cottage is on the market — and it's just as wacky as the man himself

The first time I visited Amsterdam, I went to a bar where everything was slightly off centre. The walls weren’t _quite_ straight. The bar wasn’t quite flat. None of it was particularly awful, and I didn’t really understand why it was designed this way.

It was only after drinking several beers and then stumbling outside that the illusion revealed itself — I had normalised the off-kilter bar, and as a result the rest of the world went wonky. The beers also probably didn’t help.

You might have to be careful at The Cottage in Hog Hill, East Sussex. It would not be accurate to describe it as ‘off kilter’. Some of the rooms in this house have never been near the kilter. It comes, therefore, as no surprise that this was once the home of Terrence Alan Milligan. Better known to you and I as ‘Spike’. The property is for rent with John D Wood & Co for £3,400pcm.

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A characterful man deserves a characterful home and I think the Cottage qualifies. It features three bedrooms, a large kitchen and a living/dining room over three floors.

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The highlight is, of course, that extremely off-centre living room. Talk about a conversation starter.

Thankfully, the rest of the property seems pretty straight, so you will be more than able to keep your sanity. There’s lots of period features throughout, from exposed beams, wooden floors and doors, and mullion and transom windows. There is also a very nice fireplace.

The glorious British seaside is only a 30-minute walk away from the property, and The Cottage also benefits from a large garden with great views of the surrounding countryside.

I suppose I should also mention that the property is opposite something called Hogg Hill Mill, which is the private recording studio of Sir Paul McCartney. So that would be a useful neighbour to have.

The Cottage at Hog Hill is available to rent through John D Wood & Co. For more information, click here