What gift do you give someone who already has everything they need? A Christmas tree farm, of course.
Today, on ridiculous things you can buy but probably don’t need, we bring you a special Christmas edition. ‘Christmas!’, you say. ‘But it’s only bloody October!’. Usually I would agree with you, but if the last five years of personal experience is anything to go by, where I’m desperately scouring the shops of Bermondsey Street for something to buy on Christmas Eve, I am this year deciding to get ahead of things nice and early.
Something I usually leave quite late is buying a Christmas tree. It’s not that I don’t know where to find them, but rather that I find dragging them back to the house quite annoying, what with them being heavy and pointy. There are two ways to get around this issue. Method number one would be to buy a plastic tree, and store it when you are not using it. A bit tacky, if you ask me.
The heart of the estate, with three-bedroom farmhouse.
Method number two, the Country Life method, if you will, would be to buy this Christmas tree farm in Dumfries & Galloway for £2 million. More trees than you can shake a stick at and you can probably get one of the employees to deliver yours.
The farm, for sale with our good friends at Strutt & Parker, is named Garrocher Christmas Tree Farm. There are many exciting things about this Christmas tree farm, which is a sentence I never thought I would type.
It is award-winning. Did you know that Christmas tree farms have awards? They do, and Garrocher won ‘Best Traditional Christmas Tree’ in the UK’s ‘Tree Oscars’. So there. The farm has also provided trees to the Ritz and Downing Street. I assume both of those places do not accept your standard Christmas tree.
Trees, trees and more trees. What else did you expect at a Christmas tree farm?
The plot is about 300 acres in total. How many Christmas trees does 300 acres produce? A good question. According to the sales particulars, that will get you about 260,000 trees, of varying ages and size. My advice would be to not cut down all the trees at once, as I imagine they take a while to grow.
The property also comes with a three-bedroom farmhouse, so you have somewhere to sleep while admiring your crop.
Beat the Christmas rush by buying the Christmas tree farm. At Country Life, we offer simple solutions to complex problems. You can thank us later.
James Fisher is the deputy digital editor of Countrylife.co.uk. He lives in London
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