A naughty elf, a bridge quits Twitter and how the Americans have come to terms with Mr Blobby

No more Mr Naughty

It’s the time of year where I like to wander onto Which? and find out what Christmas products are currently on sale that might injure you. I am a fun person to have around at parties.

Naturally, the Naughty Elf Doll sold by Iceland caught my attention almost immediately. This 12-in high doll, which doesn’t on first impressions appear to be that naughty at all, was revealed to have a manufacturing defect whereupon a sharp edge can be accessed. Maybe it’s naughty because it wants to cut you.

Another highlight were these Quality Street bauble being sold by John Lewis, which are also deceptively sharp apparently. It’s a shame, as they look rather fun, but it’s not worth being slashed by your ornaments when putting up the tree. It’s enough of a stressful process without the threat of being sliced open by The Purple One.

Feel free to have a browse of the list here.

Quiz

1) What does a spelunker explore?

2) In which decade were parking meters introduced in the UK?

3) If a creature is edentulous, what does it lack?

4) How many valves does a trumpet have?

5) Camulodunum was the Roman name for which Essex town?

Bridge quits online cesspit

In the weeks before, during and after the US Election, one person has been making a lot more noise than pretty much anyone else. That person is Elon Musk, the owner of Tesla, The Boring Company and various other irritating brands that now includes X (formerly known as Twitter).

Long trusted as a source of information used by everyone from news outlets to my cat sitter, Twitter (I won’t be calling it X) has come undone in recent months and years due to the, shall we say, creative interventions of Mr Musk, which has seen the website become a playground for AI bots, racists and just about any other type of awful person. It has been like this for some time.

However, it seems that in recent days, as a result of the aforementioned horrors plus Mr Musk’s involvement in Donald Trump’s re-election, people are leaving the site for somewhere less full of, well, racists. The Guardian has made the decision to stop publishing there. Many of the accounts that I follow have moved along. I have uhmmed and ahhed as to whether to stick around, but my mind may have been made up by the announcement from a particularly important account that it’s leaving the site: The Clifton Suspension Bridge.

Yes, the Bridge has had enough. In a statement, the Bridge said: ‘The changes made to the platform in recent times has caused us to reconsider our use of [Twitter]. With the rise in inappropriate content and decrease in meaningful engagement with our followers, we have chosen to no longer post to this account.’ 

I am sure there are plenty of jokes to be made about an account for a bridge being suspended, but I shan’t be making them. The Bridge notes that if you would like to stay up to date with all things Clifton Suspension, you can visit their website here or follow them on Facebook or Instagram.

Property of the day

It's rare that an ancient house of extreme character comes to the market. It's even rarer when that ancient house of extreme character comes with a football pitch and a glorious swimming pool. However, that's the case with The Old Hall in Netherseal, Derbyshire. Have a look at it here.

Americans Vs Mr Blobby

The Americans have discovered the existence of Mr Blobby and have become afraid and confused, according to a report in the Metro. ‘I need a UK person to explain the horror that is Mr Blobby to me. What is it? More importantly, why is it, and why has nobody killed it with fire?,’ wrote Dismal_Illustrator96 on Reddit, after watching an old episode of the UK game show Taskmaster.

Helpfully, British people were quick to offer explanations for Mr Blobby’s existence, describing him as a ‘menace to society’ and suggesting that it is ‘bold of you to assume Blobby can be killed’.

Mr Blobby began life in 1992 on Noel Edmonds’s House Party. He has been deliberately very irritating ever since. Our friends at The Fence wrote a very good piece about Mr Blobby, which you can read here. Mr Blobby also has a Christmas Number One.

After many answers discussing Blobby, his origins, his purpose, his many many crimes, the original poster replied with the following: ‘Thank you for the answers, everyone. As suspected, the UK is weirder than I thought.’ And don’t you ever forget it. Blobby.

Feature

It's been 70 years since Christian Dior's last fashion show in Scotland. Or at least it was. Creative director Maria Grazia Chiuri returned for a celebratory event honouring local craftsmanship, the beauty of the land and the Auld Alliance. Kim Parker reports.

That's all for today, we'll be back tomorrow

Quiz answers

1) Caves

2) 1950s (1958)

3) Teeth 

4) Three

5) Colchester