The Rolls-Royce Cullinan II: As smooth as a 'bubble bath with Roger Moore'

The original was greeted with raised eyebrows, but, as Adam Hay-Nicholls explains, the latest offering is as much a Rolls Royce as any other.

Ibiza is shooting upmarket. You only need to glance at the hotel and villa prices, or those of the catch of the day and a bottle of Domaines Ott, to see the UHNW crowd is fully-embedded. Which is precisely why Rolls-Royce has chosen it as the launch venue for its latest offering. This is a company that listens to its customers like no other. Ahead of any major decision, the CEO of this British luxury brand is able to pick up the phone to several thousand of the world’s wealthiest, exacting, powerful and visionary people and get their steer.

This Cullinan series II is, in its most literal sense, a facelift. The original version, which debuted in 2018, was greeted with a Marmite reception. The majority thought it was offensive on a number of levels, from the profligacy to the proportions. But the 0.001% actually in a position to buy it loved it. Since then, Cullinans have represented the majority of models leaving the Goodwood factory. Seventy percent of them have been bought by first-time Rolls-Royce customers – or patrons, as the company refers to them. The average Rolls owner is now 43-years-old. Ten years ago, it was 56.

The infinite opportunities for personalisation are a reflection of this. The first time I saw a ‘Cully’ it was in a deep red, and its chunky girth reminded me of the Jeep Grand Wagoneer John Candy drove in The Great Outdoors to such an extent that I enquired with Rolls’ Bespoke department if they could fashion some cherry oak down the sides and make the Cullinan a ‘woody’. Anything is possible, came the response.

The Cullinan might be a Rolls Royce, but it can still get its boots muddy when it needs to. Credit: Adam Warner

I think time has softened my view of the Cullinan, for which Rolls initially used the term ‘high-sided vehicle’ to deflect from the déclassé description ‘SUV’. Thing is, while Colin Chapman and Enzo Ferrari must be spinning in their graves following Lotus’ and Ferrari’s own high-sided launches, I’ve never had a problem with a Rolls-Royce 4×4. The earliest cars to bear the Spirit of Ecstasy were designed to handle rough and rudimentary roads. Look at what pioneering automotive adventurers did on rallies like the Peking to Paris. Inspirational stuff! Yes, the Cullinan is big, heavy and unsubtle. What Roller isn’t? In essence it is more Rolls than SUV, so mission accomplished.

This new series II brings an up-to-date and more elegant rhinoplasty to the front. A slightly more chamfered pantheon grille sits amidst sleeker headlights and new daylight running lights, which gives it a slimming monolithic aesthetic and also reminds me of a sad owl. A more angular set of vents create a V-shape to the area under the grille which evoke the prow of an ocean liner cutting through the waterline.

At the back, there are new surrounds for the quad exhaust exits and a more prominent bash plate hinting at its off-road potential (I’d love to know how many owners have ever engaged the diff-locks and hill descent system). The beefy rear stance will make the bodybuilders who hoon around in Range Rover Sports feel emasculated.

The ‘beefy rear stance’. Credit: Adam Warner

There are new 23in rims which are polished to look like diamonds. That’s apt, given the car was christened after the world’s biggest rock (3,106 carats). Which leads us to the only real mechanical change for the series II: The inch-bigger wheels have required the engineers to recalibrate the magic carpet air suspension.

Fresh from the barefoot luxury of the Six Senses resort, where Rolls have put us up, I steer the Cully out onto the winding roads of the island’s north east coast. The views are spectacular but I daren’t look away from the road. This narrow black-top wasn’t built for this car. It’s wider than a full-fat Range Rover, a foot longer, and it weighs nearly three tonnes. On that note, I think they’ve been a bit conservative on the brakes. Taking these blind turns requires patience, but this is not a machine that makes you want to hare around. In a Rolls, the world comes to you. Still, it could use a brawnier set of anchors.

There’s an uprated lane-keeping assist system, and you’ll quickly get comfortable with the old trick of using the Spirit of Ecstasy’s wingtips as a guide to how close you can get to the edge of the road. Like all of its cousins, the Cullinan is unlike any other vehicle to drive and a joy to steer; relaxed but accurate, assisted by rear-wheel-steering. It seems to float, and it’s easier to think of this as a land yacht than an SUV. The satellite-aided transmission and suspension system scan the road ahead to anticipate what’s coming up (iceberg Captain!), so it’s all as smooth as a bubble bath with Roger Moore.

Power from its venerable 6.75-litre V12 is, as ever, ‘adequate.’ There is no hybrid option. If that’s your thing, you should look at the Range Rover, Bentley Bentayga and Mercedes-Maybach GLS. There’s no sport button either. If performance takes precedence over cruising comfort, the Aston Martin DBX 707 and Lamborghini Urus are better all-rounders.

The opulent interiors are what we have come to expect from Rolls Royce.

But no one can compete with the interior craftsmanship of the Rolls. For the first time, there is an in-cabin Spirit of Ecstasy housed in a clock cabinet vitrine. There is a pillar-to-pillar glass dash, which is functional in the middle and on the driver’s side. On the passenger side, clients can commission a decorative artwork. The launch cars have a pattern inspired by illuminated skyscrapers. There’s a leather option where patterns are perforated in the seats.

The launch cars’ seats are inspired by the clouds over Goodwood, resulting in 107,000 individually-stamped holes. There is also, for the first time on a series production BMW-era Rolls-Royce, a non-leather option; a bamboo-based rayon called Duality Twill that harks back to the days when backseat VIPs preferred fabric and it was only the chauffeur who rode on leather. This £22,000 option requires 11 miles of thread and 2.2 million stiches.

There’s also a Black Badge version, with a little extra grunt and growl and slightly more aggressive styling. The chrome is all blacked-out, and the colour spec is likely to be bolder. The steering and throttle response are noticeably sharper. It seems to suit the character of this car especially well, and is sure to be the better selling of the two. Shrinking violets will not buy a Cullinan.

On these zig-zagging roads en route to a lazy lunch at fashionable beach club, Jondal, I’d swap the Rolls for a topless 1970s Citroën Méhari; impervious to scrapes, and as boho-chic as Sienna Miller. But that constitutes the old Ibiza. The Cullinan is more Kim Kardashian. The nouveau riche will applaud the cosmetic surgery. At some angles, mind you, if you get sun cream in your eye and squint, you could mistake it for a LEVC black cab.

On the road: The Rolls-Royce Cullinan series II

Price: From £275,000, or £315,000 for the Black Badge version. Though once you’ve added bespoke audio, paint and trim options, the bill will likely start with a 4.
Power: 563bhp, rising to 591bhp in the Black Badge
Weight: 2,732kg – or two Dacia Dusters
Top speed: 155mph
0-60mph: 5.1 seconds
CO2: 363-380g/km
Fuel economy: You’ve come to the wrong place