Weddings: Why an afternoon beats an entire weekend
Getting married is, and should be, a very special day. But make sure it's only a day, says Annunicata Elwes.


With a familiar thud, a fat envelope lands on the mat – the higher the gsm, the louder the thud. I love weddings – all those popping waistcoats, church belters, wild dancers, weird relatives and wonderful hats – but my heart fills with dread when I tear open an envelope and a whole deck of cards tumbles out.
The wedding, yes, the breakfast, yes. The night before the wedding – hmm… Brunch, lunch and/or tea the day after the wedding – for goodness’ sake! All three and I curse romance in all its forms.
I like people very much, both friends and strangers, talking to them, eating with them, dancing with them, pinching cigarettes off them – all the usual wedding behaviours – but I’m no slave to love. The 12 labours of Hercules were a doddle compared to a summer full of three-day weddings.
When my parents were married, the form was a morning ceremony followed by Champagne and cake (a buffet lunch if you were lucky), then everybody scurried home early. Now, they go on into the evening, ending at midnight or shortly after in the civilised world, but have been known to last all night long – this, to me, is the optimum wedding formula, one stupendous day and night.
By all means, would-be-weds should arrange a get-together with family and close friends – it’s rare to have everybody in the same place – but don’t invite the whole blasted wedding party. My mother thinks I’m delightful, but even she doesn’t want to talk to me for 72 hours straight and what you may find charming and novel in my repartee one evening is sure to be repetitive the next.
Furthermore, what’s to prevent the embarrassment of not recognising one’s best bud of the night before, who has, confusingly, changed his/her clothes. The simple act of brushing one’s hair and taking off a cardie can confuse some men.
The horror of horrors is the do the day after. I have attended these events. To my shame, I’m enticed by the free food. The Sunday party is a casual affair, a barbecue or buffet. Those who attend are too tired to talk much. It usually rains. There isn’t enough seating. People hang around with friends because it’s less effort; they’d all rather be sleeping than scintillating.
Exquisite houses, the beauty of Nature, and how to get the most from your life, straight to your inbox.
During one such day-after-the-wedding lunch, I was found curled up in a bundle with two girlfriends, near the coats. That’s where all sensible people should be after a daylong shindig – in slumber or travelling somewhere where this will be possible, to recover bright and bushy-tailed for the next joyful celebration of love.
Annunciata Elwes (neé Walton) got married in June - read her blog about planning a day which definitely lasted just one day and night
The secret to a good wedding? More sincerity, less triviality
The secret of the classic country wedding is quality over quantity, says Giles Kime
Why morning dress is flattering, tasteful and essential for weddings
Whether you splash out or keep it simple, one thing you shouldn't compromise on is your wedding clothes – and morning
Credit: Alamy
Wedding myths debunked, and mysteries explained
Weddings are as chock full of myth and superstition as they are canapés and crazy relatives.
Annunciata is director of contemporary art gallery TIN MAN ART and an award-winning journalist specialising in art, culture and property. Previously, she was Country Life’s News & Property Editor. Before that, she worked at The Sunday Times Travel Magazine, researched for a historical biographer and co-founded a literary, art and music festival in Oxfordshire. Lancashire-born, she lives in Hampshire with a husband, two daughters and a mischievous pug.
-
Jnane Rumi, Marrakech, hotel review: 'The most talked about opening this year — and for good reason'
The Moroccan capital of Marrakech is the world capital of hotels, says Christopher Wallace — and Jnane Rumi is the latest string to its hospitality bow.
-
Breathtaking views and gardens that run down to the water's edge at this delightful home in Cornwall
The Garden House in Polruan sums up the appeal of waterside living. Penny Churchill steps inside.
-
‘They remain, really, the property of all of those who love them, know them, and tell them. They are our stories, the inheritance of the people of Scotland’: The Anthology of Scottish Folk Tales
-
Canine muses: Lucian Freud's etchings of Pluto the whippet are among his most popular and expensive work
In the third edition of our limited series, we meet the dogs who've inspired some of our greatest artists.
-
Maybach SL680: A modern motoring marvel from the marque that once catered for Maharajas and movie stars
The Maybach name has been attached to many of Germany's most luxurious cars over the last century — so does the latest iteration live up to the reputation? Simon de Burton got behind the wheel of the Mercedes-Maybach SL 680 — but only after a quick pronunciation lesson.
-
‘What a shame when a dinosaur disappears into the mansion of an oligarch rather than being displayed for all to enjoy’: The ethics of the dinosaur auction
Fancy a stegosaurus in your living room? You can buy one at auction. But the latest luxury good is a paleontologist's worst nightmare.
-
‘There is probably no sport in the world which is so misunderstood’: 75 years of Formula 1 according to the Country Life archive
On the 75th anniversary of the first ever Formula 1 World Championship Grand Prix, held at Silverstone Circuit, Rosie Paterson delves into the Country Life archives to look at how the magazine once spoke about motorsport.
-
‘Reactions to the French in the 1870s varied from outrage to curious interest’: Impressionism's painstaking ten year journey to be taken seriously by the Brits
Claude Monet and Camille Pissarro spent time in London, but it took James McNeill Whistler to act as artistic bridge with Britain and the ‘sweetened’ Impressionism of Jules Bastien-Lepage to inspire most homegrown painters.
-
What do 19th century rowers, Queen Victoria and Giorgio Armani all have in common? They helped to popularise the world's most versatile jacket — the blazer
Everyone from royalty to rappers seems to have one in their wardrobe. Harry Pearson lists the merits of the blazer, a true sartorial team player.
-
'"This things is a beast," he said. "When I say brake, brake." He didn't need to tell me twice': What happened when we sent a Country Life writer to tear round Goodwood in a 200mph Ferrari
James Fisher Goodwood’s ProDriver Experience is a chance for you to pull on a race suit and live out your childhood fantasies — no matter how tall you are.