If there's one thing that truly spells summer, it's the appearance of strawberries in the supermarket, picnic blankets from the back cupboards and a tennis racket by the front door waiting to be put back in the attic, unused, once the last ball has been served.
Yes, all these things spell the event that people all over the world willingly devote their neck muscles to for two whole weeks, something so quintessentially British that it's a wonder it doesn't have the world 'royal' attached to it yet.
As with every occasion in our fair nation, Wimbledon comes with the expectation of a dress code — competitors are sternly reminded that 'white' does not include off-white or cream and tailored shorts for spectators are, these days, 'permissible'.
Decker Off-Court striped cotton-jersey cardigan
What time is it? Time to go into full-on 1980s Brat Pack movie mode.
£126, Varley www.net-a-porter.com
Bespoke Walton tennis racquet cover
The IGB on the ball holder, in case you're wondering, is customisable. Rather than a typo.
£695, Anya Hindmarch www.anyahindmarch.com
The Roger Spin sneaker
The shoes promise 'pro-level performance'. This is them talking about the shoes' covering-your-feet powers, we're guessing, rather than them rashly promising that you'll become instantly Good At Tennis.
£130, On Running www.on-running.com
Leather tennis-ball holder
Because the plastic tube that came with your balls simply won't do.
£195, Paradise Row www.thegoto.com
Wimbledon SW19 tennis tote bag
Bags of style — and a built-in racket holder.
£195, Wimbledon Shop shop.wimbledon.com
Bespoke tennis balls
Readers of a certain age will be delighted to see white tennis balls making a comeback at last. Everyone else will be shocked that a tennis ball can be anything other than dayglo yellow.
£35, Anya Hindmarch www.anyahindmarch.com
Solitaire Tennis Dress Co-Ord
Do your best Billie Jean King impression in this dress that's pure throwback style.
£260, Exeat www.exeatweekend.com
Roadie 48 wheeled coolbox
Sure, it's at priced at a point you might also expect it to make and serve your lunch... but at least it'll be cool in every sense.
£450, Yeti www.yeti.com
Unisex tennis visor
Sun in your eyes? I'd advise a visor.
(Sorry.)
£50, Lacoste www.lacoste.com
Diamond tennis bracelet
What do you mean, 'are you sure it's a good idea to play sport in jewellery costing almost seven grand?' Just think how good you'll look!
£6,750, Sophie Breitmeyer www.sophiebreitmeyer.com
Chevron pleated tennis skirt
See how the pleats change with the go-faster stripes? That will help you serve 14.6% faster. Well, probably.
£155, Tory Burch www.toryburch.com
Intarsia merino wool sweater
Look what granny knitted!
£180, L’Etoile Sport. www.net-a-porter.com
W Labs Project Shift 99/300 tennis racket
Hang on — who said we could put something in here that's actually essential for playing tennis? What's going on?
£240, Wilson www.wilson.com
Credit: Picasa
The Utterly Inessential Marathon Shopping List: The ulitmate survival kit, headphones to drown out the pain and a marathon where one can run with wine
This week on Utterly Inessential, we admire those who take part in one of the world's biggest fundraising events as
The utterly inessential Glyndebourne shopping list: A rug, a picnic basket and a £26,000 bangle...
We've rounded up all the utterly inessential products that you absolutely do not need (top hats for Ascot aside) to
Credit: Leo Acker/Country Life Picture L
The Utterly Inessential Ascot Shopping List: How to safely navigate one of British society's most draconian dress codes
We've rounded up all the utterly inessential products that you absolutely do not need (top hats for Ascot aside) to
Credit: Leo Acker/Country Life Picture Library
The Utterly Inessential Chelsea Shopping List: What you'll need for the famed Flower Show, from chic sunglasses to an obligatory brolly
We've rounded up all the utterly inessential products that you absolutely do not need (top hats for Ascot aside) to
-
Tom Parker Bowles's favourite recipe: French onion soupThis dish is no mere Gallic broth, rather pure bonhomie in a bowl — a boozy, beefy, allium-scented masterpiece that cries out for the chill depths of winter
-
On your marks, get set, go: The booming business of sports tourismRising numbers of travellers want to participate in or watch some form of sweat-inducing activity. From VIP Formula 1 tickets to golf underneath the Northern Lights, here's how to join them.
-
Seven perfect Christmas gifts for people who just love beautiful, functional thingsWilliam Morris famously said to have nothing in your house that you don't know to be useful or believe to be beautiful. These things do their best to hit both targets.
-
Christmas gift ideas for menFrom fathers to brothers to lovers, we run through some smart ideas for Christmas presents for the men in your life.
-
Perfect Father’s Day gifts for dads who deserve itThere are many ways to show your dad that you love and appreciate him. There's breakfast in bed, an offer to mow the lawn, a big hug and the offer of the last biscuit. Or you could just buy him something that he definitely doesn't need, but we're pretty sure he'll want.
-
The Utterly Inessential Mother's Day list: 16 gifts guaranteed to either surprise or delightIs your mum the sort who's happiest with what she knows — or one who loves a surprise?
-
The Utterly Inessential Shopping List: Supercharged home Wi-Fi, smart headphones and a mobile phone literally anyone can useOur Utterly Inessential Shopping List returns with some technology that is far cleverer than we are.
-
The best weekend bags and finest holdalls that (rather a lot of) money can buyGoing somewhere nice? You might be soon, so here's Hetty Lintell with her pick of the finest holdalls and best weekend bags you can buy.
-
Best smart speakers for non-techie people: What to expect, what you'll love and what doesn't workSmart speakers are no longer the preserve of tech geeks and millennials — these handy speakers are, and (as we'll discover) particularly handy for those living in the countryside. We've looked at some of the main contenders to see which one comes out on top: Google Nest Audio, Amazon Echo Studio, the Apple HomePod Mini, and the Audio Pro G10.
-
Easter gifts of real quality, from a diamond bunny to a Fabergé eggHetty Lintell and Toby Keel pick out some, all the while desperately trying to avoid using the word 'eggsquisite'.
