This glorious bed by the cabinetmaker Louis Malard is a triumphant example of 'Egyptomania'. It's being shown at the BRAFA Art Fair and I must have it.
What is life, if not a series of fantasies interrupted rudely by the foul stench of reality. Fantasy is what keeps us going, keeps us motivated and allows us to dream. As a reader of Country Life, both in print and online, I fantasise often. A lot of things I fantasise about I can’t repeat here, but I also fantasise of nice houses I can’t afford, kitchens I don’t have room for and, now, this enormous Egyptian bed. I must have it.
‘Egyptomania’ is not a phrase I have come across often. It sounds like a bad synth-pop song from the 1980s. When I first saw the bed, in the pages of the magazine, I thought someone had been playing around with AI and accidentally snuck it past one of our picture editors. But no, it is real, and it will be shown at the BRAFA Art Fair in Brussels from January 26 to February 2, with Galerie Marc Maison.
Egyptomania is, to put it simply, a passion for ancient Egypt that dates as far back as Roman times and has continued into the 20th century. This bed, known as the ‘Rhamses’ bed, was created in the late 19th century by cabinetmaker Louis Malard. I have many questions about the bed.
Question number one is: ‘how much does the bed cost’. It is not easily attainable information, so I would assume that it is very expensive and that if you have to ask the ‘how much’ question, you probably can’t afford it. Which is a shame, as I would like it. Does my council flat in Bermondsey have enough structural integrity to support this wooden monolith? Probably not, but I could work something out.
The details are astounding. Credit: Galerie Marc Maison
Other questions. How do you get it in your house? What kind of care instructions does it have? Is the mattress included? How do you hoover underneath it? Does it come with some kind of grape-feeding mechanism?
I am looking around my house as I write, and I am wondering why I do not have any Egyptian themed things. I never knew I needed them, but now I wonder if I can live without them. I have a cat, I suppose, but he is big and fat and white and looks nothing like the ones you’d see carved into a pyramid.
As it turns out, Malard was very thorough when creating this bed. He didn’t just slap a bunch of Egyptian figures and styles on the piece and hope for the best. The relief of Ramses II on the headboard depicts the Phaoroah at the Battle of Kadesh, and he drew from hieroglyphic and symbolic language to decorate the bed.
It’s eye-catching for sure. A conversation starter. ‘Through this blend of profound scholarship and creative reinterpretation, Malard crafted one of the most spectacular Egyptomania works of his century,’ is what the accompanying notes say. I wholeheartedly agree. And I’ve got just the place to put it.
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