Country mouse: The facts of life

Mark's daughter Anna learns something of the birds and the bees as terrier Cracker refuses to produce the anticipated litter of puppies...

Country mouse, Country Life magazine
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It says much about our country that you have to be better qualified to be a vet than to be a doctor. We are a nation of animal lovers, and my youngest is true to the British stereotype. Anna, aged seven, particularly adores dogs and has astonishing affinity with all types. She is able to soothe an angry Alsatian and, perhaps more remarkably, exert control over our terriers.

So you can imagine her excitement as the day dawned for our terrier, Cracker, to have her puppies. The two made elaborate plans as to where she would have them, both building nests and camps in ever more elaborate places before they settled on Anna's bed as the perfect location. The day dawned, and Anna ran in to wake us up with the news that 'Cracker is seriously panting'. A good sign, but a few hours later, nothing had happened, so we took her to the vet to be on the safe side.

The young vet examined her carefully and then X-rayed her, before announcing, to universal astonishment, that she wasn't pregnant. 'Why not?' said Anna with extreme earnestness. 'I seriously saw them mate five times.' The vet looked at me nervously. 'You tell her,' I said. 'You're the vet.'

Country Life

Country Life is unlike any other magazine: the only glossy weekly on the newsstand and the only magazine that has been guest-edited by HRH The King not once, but twice. It is a celebration of modern rural life and all its diverse joys and pleasures — that was first published in Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee year. Our eclectic mixture of witty and informative content — from the most up-to-date property news and commentary and a coveted glimpse inside some of the UK's best houses and gardens, to gardening, the arts and interior design, written by experts in their field — still cannot be found in print or online, anywhere else.